I swear if I read one more of these gift guides in magazines that advise you to buy Christopher Kane sequin dress for mere £2970 (Elle Magazine) I shall scream. God knows in the times of credit crunch every one can afford to buy their girlfriend a set of underwear for £95 or a cookie purse £460 (Vogue.com), which is very cute and she’s gonna use it approximately twice… I say sod it. If you’re a geek or if you don’t want to leave the house yet still want to get something nice as a Christmas gift for a female human being this is all you need:

urbanoutfitters.co.uk (or .com for USA): ok, I’m a sucker for a bit of urban outfitters fashion, but guess what – all girls are. And some of their stuff is even affordable. I vote the earing (£12). I love mine and wear them all the time, except when my flatmates steal them. Another nice thing (and on sale) is a bra, to go for if you’re feeling slightly selfish. Clothes are a bit more tricky though I can’t imagine a chick who wouldn’t like/fit this little black dress. Also if you’re in states you can order a free year’s worth of Nylon subscription on the site.

Another thing that would work for pretty much every one is designboom wallet. This is slightly more pricey ($43 with shipping), but hey, the joke is worth it.

Also, no matter what they say, all girls like american apparel. If they sya they don’t – they lie. Again it’s stuff that fits absolutely every one and it’s quite ethics-friendly (in a bizarre sort of way, no 3-world children are involved in the production, but then again all the income stays in LA). If the lady in question is a bit on the trendy side risk a dress. If she isn’t go for a scarf who will fit absolutely any one ans is lovely to the touch (I lost mine and i’m absolutely gutted). Another safe bet is a cardigan (plain, simple and always always needed). It’s a unisex one, so as long as you’re similar size…  Or if you’re not brave at all gift certificates are very safe – though a bit short on the personal side.

Now for the cheesy bit. Not that I advise it, but if you need something with a heart on it go for asofterworld t-shirt – www.asofterworld.com is totally cool, so it will soften the blow of inevitable cheesiness involved in love declarations. Other than that there is the love versus sex mug form savage chickens. Oh yes.

For arty/photographic types the print space does good quality prints and won’t kill your wallet. For girls who are into stationary (and most are) i recommend the Chairman Meow World Domination Journal.

Whatever you do, DO NOT buy clothes for her dog…

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